She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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