It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
