Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
