If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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