Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
