oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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