Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
