do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
