he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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