I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Come on in and take your pants off
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
