mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize