bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
