return my video game
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
