physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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