with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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