Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize