There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
