Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
