Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
