I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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