Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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