i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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