just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
