i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
