I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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