Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
