remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize