I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
