Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
