Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
