so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize