I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
