I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
