I wanna passion pit in your ass
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
