so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
