One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
