he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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