4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
