duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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