just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
