Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
