My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
