He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
