sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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