He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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