sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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