I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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