Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
