i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
