I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
pray to the hookup gods
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize