so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish i was in the wii world.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize