How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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