Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
