1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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