Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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