My underwear smells like fireworks.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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