Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize