what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
