SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How external is "for external use only"?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
