I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
