no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
