U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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